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I had walked into France with the southern English habit of saying sorry roughly forty times a day, for things like asking a question, being in someone's way for half a second, or simply existing in a public space. The first month of Le Havre converted most of those into appropriate French equivalents: pardon for the physical near-collision, excusez-moi for the question to a stranger, and nothing at all for the rest of them. The realisation was that French does not have an everyday phatic sorry the way British English does. Saying je suis desole every time I needed a small social move would have been the equivalent of a French person saying \"I am desolate\" in English thirty times a day.\n\nThe position I want to defend across the how-to-say cluster is that politeness vocabulary is the most culturally loaded vocabulary in any language, and the apology vocabulary is where the gap between English-speaking and French politeness culture is most visible. English speakers and especially British English speakers reflexively translate every sorry as desole because the textbook flattens the distinction. French speakers do not. Desole is for genuine regret. Pardon is the casual everyday acknowledgement. Excusez-moi is for getting attention. The right move is to match the French structure rather than imposing the British apologetic reflex on top of it.\n\nThe hill I will land on is the bonjour-then-apology pattern. Walking up to a French stranger and leading with excusez-moi without bonjour is one of the most consistent tourist tells in any French city. The polite formulation is bonjour, excusez-moi or bonjour, pardon, and the bonjour does most of the work. British English speakers skip the bonjour because they treat the apology as the social-glue acknowledgement, the way sorry works in English. In French the bonjour is the acknowledgement and the excusez-moi is the verb. Lead with bonjour, deploy desole only when you actually mean it, and you will be in the right French register for the rest of your trip.\n",{"type":41,"value":42,"toc":831},"minimark",[43,48,52,57,60,116,119,122,128,131,137,156,159,179,182,186,191,194,199,216,218,244,250,253,273,276,286,297,300,303,320,322,348,355,359,362,382,385,389,394,413,417,431,435,449,453,467,471,490,494,498,527,531,549,553,561,565,572,576,579,585,591,597,601,679,683,747,761,765,768,789,793],[44,45,47],"h1",{"id":46},"how-to-say-sorry-in-french","How to Say Sorry in French",[49,50,51],"p",{},"French distinguishes three primary apology situations that English collapses into the single word \"sorry\": brief acknowledgement of small mistakes, sincere expression of regret, and excusing yourself in formal or attention-getting contexts. Picking the wrong one rarely causes offence but consistently reads as non-native. This article covers the three core phrases, their correct contexts, the intensifiers, the formal-informal distinction, and the regional variations.",[53,54,56],"h2",{"id":55},"the-three-core-apology-phrases","The three core apology phrases",[49,58,59],{},"French distinguishes three primary apology situations:",[61,62,63,79],"table",{},[64,65,66],"thead",{},[67,68,69,73,76],"tr",{},[70,71,72],"th",{},"Situation",[70,74,75],{},"French",[70,77,78],{},"English",[80,81,82,94,105],"tbody",{},[67,83,84,88,91],{},[85,86,87],"td",{},"Brief \u002F minor mistake",[85,89,90],{},"Pardon",[85,92,93],{},"Sorry \u002F Excuse me",[67,95,96,99,102],{},[85,97,98],{},"Sincere regret",[85,100,101],{},"Je suis desole(e)",[85,103,104],{},"I am sorry",[67,106,107,110,113],{},[85,108,109],{},"Excusing yourself \u002F getting attention",[85,111,112],{},"Excusez-moi \u002F Excuse-moi",[85,114,115],{},"Excuse me",[49,117,118],{},"The mistake English speakers make: defaulting to \"desole\" for everything. That works for sincere apology but reads as overly weighted for small interactions where pardon is the appropriate brief acknowledgement.",[53,120,90],{"id":121},"pardon",[49,123,124,127],{},[125,126,90],"strong",{}," - literally \"forgiveness.\" The standalone exclamation for minor mistakes, bumping into someone, missing what someone said.",[49,129,130],{},"Pronunciation: pahr-DOHN. The N is nasal.",[49,132,133,134,136],{},"Use ",[125,135,121],{}," for:",[138,139,140,144,147,150,153],"ul",{},[141,142,143],"li",{},"Bumping into someone in the street.",[141,145,146],{},"Asking \"what?\" politely when you missed what someone said.",[141,148,149],{},"Brief acknowledgement of a small mistake.",[141,151,152],{},"Squeezing past someone in a crowded space.",[141,154,155],{},"Sneezing in public.",[49,157,158],{},"Examples:",[138,160,161,167,173],{},[141,162,163,166],{},[125,164,165],{},"Pardon!"," (bumping into someone) - Sorry!",[141,168,169,172],{},[125,170,171],{},"Pardon, je n'ai pas entendu."," - Sorry, I did not hear.",[141,174,175,178],{},[125,176,177],{},"Pardon, vous avez l'heure?"," - Excuse me, do you have the time?",[49,180,181],{},"Pardon is the casual all-purpose minor apology. It functions as both \"sorry\" and \"excuse me\" depending on context.",[53,183,185],{"id":184},"je-suis-desole-desolee","Je suis desole \u002F desolee",[49,187,188,190],{},[125,189,101],{}," - literally \"I am desolate \u002F saddened.\" Used for sincere apology and genuine regret.",[49,192,193],{},"Pronunciation: zhuh swee day-zo-LAY. The masculine \"desole\" and feminine \"desolee\" sound identical (the spelling difference does not change pronunciation).",[49,195,133,196,136],{},[125,197,198],{},"desole",[138,200,201,204,207,210,213],{},[141,202,203],{},"Expressing genuine regret about something significant.",[141,205,206],{},"Apologising for a substantial mistake.",[141,208,209],{},"Expressing sympathy for someone's loss or difficulty.",[141,211,212],{},"Apologising for being late by a meaningful amount.",[141,214,215],{},"Communicating \"no\" with regret (\"Sorry, I cannot...\").",[49,217,158],{},[138,219,220,226,232,238],{},[141,221,222,225],{},[125,223,224],{},"Je suis desole, je ne peux pas venir."," - I am sorry, I cannot come.",[141,227,228,231],{},[125,229,230],{},"Je suis vraiment desole pour ce qui s'est passe."," - I am truly sorry for what happened.",[141,233,234,237],{},[125,235,236],{},"Desolee pour le retard."," - Sorry for the lateness.",[141,239,240,243],{},[125,241,242],{},"Je suis desole de votre perte."," - I am sorry for your loss.",[49,245,246,247,249],{},"The short form ",[125,248,198],{}," (without \"je suis\") is common in spoken French as a brief acknowledgement.",[49,251,252],{},"Intensifiers:",[138,254,255,261,267],{},[141,256,257,260],{},[125,258,259],{},"Je suis vraiment desole"," - I am truly sorry.",[141,262,263,266],{},[125,264,265],{},"Je suis sincerement desole"," - I am sincerely sorry.",[141,268,269,272],{},[125,270,271],{},"Je suis profondement desole"," - I am deeply sorry.",[53,274,112],{"id":275},"excusez-moi-excuse-moi",[49,277,278,281,282,285],{},[125,279,280],{},"Excusez-moi"," (formal) \u002F ",[125,283,284],{},"Excuse-moi"," (informal) - literally \"excuse me.\" Used for:",[138,287,288,291,294],{},[141,289,290],{},"Getting someone's attention politely",[141,292,293],{},"Excusing yourself for a minor matter",[141,295,296],{},"Politely interrupting",[49,298,299],{},"Pronunciation: eks-koo-zay MWAH \u002F eks-kooz MWAH.",[49,301,302],{},"Use excusez-moi \u002F excuse-moi for:",[138,304,305,308,311,314,317],{},[141,306,307],{},"Approaching a stranger to ask a question.",[141,309,310],{},"Calling a waiter at a restaurant.",[141,312,313],{},"Excusing yourself to leave the table.",[141,315,316],{},"Politely interrupting.",[141,318,319],{},"Asking past someone in a crowded space (alternative to pardon).",[49,321,158],{},[138,323,324,330,336,342],{},[141,325,326,329],{},[125,327,328],{},"Excusez-moi, ou est la gare?"," - Excuse me, where is the station?",[141,331,332,335],{},[125,333,334],{},"Excusez-moi, pouvez-vous m'aider?"," - Excuse me, can you help me?",[141,337,338,341],{},[125,339,340],{},"Excuse-moi, je dois partir."," - Excuse me, I have to leave.",[141,343,344,347],{},[125,345,346],{},"Excusez-moi de vous deranger."," - Excuse me for disturbing you.",[49,349,350,351,354],{},"The ",[125,352,353],{},"excusez-moi \u002F desole"," distinction is important: excusez-moi is for getting attention or excusing yourself; desole is for genuine regret. Using desole to get a waiter's attention reads as oddly serious.",[53,356,358],{"id":357},"combining-the-phrases","Combining the phrases",[49,360,361],{},"In real spoken French, native speakers often combine the apology phrases:",[138,363,364,370,376],{},[141,365,366,369],{},[125,367,368],{},"Pardon, je suis desole."," - Sorry, I am sorry.",[141,371,372,375],{},[125,373,374],{},"Excusez-moi, je suis vraiment desole."," - Excuse me, I am really sorry.",[141,377,378,381],{},[125,379,380],{},"Desolee, pardon."," - Sorry, sorry.",[49,383,384],{},"The combinations layer the regret intensity without being redundant.",[53,386,388],{"id":387},"apologising-for-specific-situations","Apologising for specific situations",[390,391,393],"h3",{"id":392},"when-you-are-late","When you are late",[138,395,396,401,407],{},[141,397,398,237],{},[125,399,400],{},"Pardon pour le retard.",[141,402,403,406],{},[125,404,405],{},"Je suis desole d'etre en retard."," - I am sorry to be late.",[141,408,409,412],{},[125,410,411],{},"Excuse-moi, j'ai eu un imprevu."," - Sorry, I had an unexpected problem.",[390,414,416],{"id":415},"when-you-have-caused-inconvenience","When you have caused inconvenience",[138,418,419,425],{},[141,420,421,424],{},[125,422,423],{},"Excusez-moi pour le derangement."," - Excuse me for the disturbance.",[141,426,427,430],{},[125,428,429],{},"Je suis desole de vous deranger."," - I am sorry to disturb you.",[390,432,434],{"id":433},"when-you-have-made-an-error","When you have made an error",[138,436,437,443],{},[141,438,439,442],{},[125,440,441],{},"Pardon, c'etait une erreur."," - Sorry, it was a mistake.",[141,444,445,448],{},[125,446,447],{},"Mille excuses."," - A thousand apologies (intensifier).",[390,450,452],{"id":451},"when-you-want-to-take-responsibility","When you want to take responsibility",[138,454,455,461],{},[141,456,457,460],{},[125,458,459],{},"C'est de ma faute."," - It is my fault.",[141,462,463,466],{},[125,464,465],{},"Je prends la responsabilite."," - I take the responsibility.",[390,468,470],{"id":469},"when-you-are-giving-condolences","When you are giving condolences",[138,472,473,478,484],{},[141,474,475,243],{},[125,476,477],{},"Je suis desole pour votre perte.",[141,479,480,483],{},[125,481,482],{},"Toutes mes condoleances."," - All my condolences (formal).",[141,485,486,489],{},[125,487,488],{},"Sinceres condoleances."," - Sincere condolences.",[53,491,493],{"id":492},"regional-variations","Regional variations",[390,495,497],{"id":496},"france","France",[138,499,500,505,514,520],{},[141,501,502,504],{},[125,503,90],{}," dominates as the brief casual apology.",[141,506,507,509,510,513],{},[125,508,280],{}," in formal contexts; ",[125,511,512],{},"excuse-moi"," with friends.",[141,515,516,519],{},[125,517,518],{},"Desole"," for sincere apology.",[141,521,522,523,526],{},"The phrase ",[125,524,525],{},"veuillez m'excuser"," is the very formal written version of \"please excuse me.\"",[390,528,530],{"id":529},"quebec","Quebec",[138,532,533,536,543],{},[141,534,535],{},"All standard French forms work.",[141,537,538,539,542],{},"Quebec French uses ",[125,540,541],{},"j'm'excuse"," more frequently than France French (where it sounds slightly more casual).",[141,544,522,545,548],{},[125,546,547],{},"dommage"," (literally \"damage \u002F pity\") is used as a \"that's a shame\" expression that overlaps with apology vocabulary.",[390,550,552],{"id":551},"belgium","Belgium",[138,554,555,558],{},[141,556,557],{},"Standard French forms dominate.",[141,559,560],{},"Some regional vocabulary in Walloon contexts but greetings and apologies follow French conventions.",[390,562,564],{"id":563},"switzerland-french-speaking","Switzerland (French-speaking)",[138,566,567,569],{},[141,568,557],{},[141,570,571],{},"Swiss French register tends slightly more formal than France French in commercial contexts; \"excusez-moi\" is used where France speakers might use \"pardon.\"",[53,573,575],{"id":574},"the-cultural-register","The cultural register",[49,577,578],{},"French apology culture differs meaningfully from English-speaking conventions:",[49,580,581,584],{},[125,582,583],{},"French is less reflexively apologetic than British English."," The English habit of saying \"sorry\" to acknowledge minor friction (someone else bumping into you, asking a question, taking a moment to think) does not translate well into French. Native French speakers do not over-apologise; they use the appropriate excuse phrase (excusez-moi) without converting it into a full apology.",[49,586,587,590],{},[125,588,589],{},"French is more apologetic than mainstream American English in certain contexts."," Customer service interactions, business correspondence, and formal contexts use \"desole\" and intensified apology vocabulary more readily than English would.",[49,592,593,596],{},[125,594,595],{},"The bonjour-then-apology pattern."," When approaching a stranger in France, the convention is to lead with \"bonjour\" rather than directly with \"excuse me.\" Walking up to a stranger and immediately saying \"excuse me\" without bonjour first reads as slightly rude. The pattern is: \"Bonjour, excusez-moi...\"",[53,598,600],{"id":599},"a-few-useful-related-phrases","A few useful related phrases",[61,602,603,613],{},[64,604,605],{},[67,606,607,610],{},[70,608,609],{},"Phrase",[70,611,612],{},"Meaning",[80,614,615,623,631,639,647,655,663,671],{},[67,616,617,620],{},[85,618,619],{},"Ce n'est pas grave",[85,621,622],{},"It is not serious (response)",[67,624,625,628],{},[85,626,627],{},"Ne vous inquietez pas",[85,629,630],{},"Do not worry (formal)",[67,632,633,636],{},[85,634,635],{},"Ne t'inquiete pas",[85,637,638],{},"Do not worry (informal)",[67,640,641,644],{},[85,642,643],{},"Pas de probleme",[85,645,646],{},"No problem",[67,648,649,652],{},[85,650,651],{},"Ce n'est rien",[85,653,654],{},"It is nothing",[67,656,657,660],{},[85,658,659],{},"Je vous pardonne",[85,661,662],{},"I forgive you (formal)",[67,664,665,668],{},[85,666,667],{},"Je te pardonne",[85,669,670],{},"I forgive you (informal)",[67,672,673,676],{},[85,674,675],{},"Oubliez ca \u002F Oublie ca",[85,677,678],{},"Forget it",[53,680,682],{"id":681},"responding-when-someone-apologises-to-you","Responding when someone apologises to you",[61,684,685,698],{},[64,686,687],{},[67,688,689,692,695],{},[70,690,691],{},"Their apology",[70,693,694],{},"Your response",[70,696,697],{},"Translation",[80,699,700,708,718,726,736],{},[67,701,702,704,706],{},[85,703,90],{},[85,705,651],{},[85,707,654],{},[67,709,710,713,715],{},[85,711,712],{},"Je suis desole",[85,714,627],{},[85,716,717],{},"Do not worry",[67,719,720,722,724],{},[85,721,280],{},[85,723,643],{},[85,725,646],{},[67,727,728,731,733],{},[85,729,730],{},"Mille excuses",[85,732,619],{},[85,734,735],{},"It is not serious",[67,737,738,741,744],{},[85,739,740],{},"Desolee pour le retard",[85,742,743],{},"Pas de souci",[85,745,746],{},"No worry (casual)",[49,748,749,750,753,754,757,758,760],{},"The casual default response is ",[125,751,752],{},"pas de probleme"," or ",[125,755,756],{},"ce n'est pas grave",". ",[125,759,659],{}," is reserved for actual forgiveness of something meaningful.",[53,762,764],{"id":763},"how-to-actually-internalise-these","How to actually internalise these",[49,766,767],{},"Three practical recommendations:",[769,770,771,777,783],"ol",{},[141,772,773,776],{},[125,774,775],{},"Match the apology to the situation."," Bumped into someone? Pardon. Getting attention? Excusez-moi. Genuinely regretful? Je suis desole. Don't default to one for everything.",[141,778,779,782],{},[125,780,781],{},"Lead with bonjour in unfamiliar contexts."," \"Bonjour, excusez-moi\" is the polite formula for approaching a stranger. Skipping bonjour reads as rude in France even with an excuse phrase.",[141,784,785,788],{},[125,786,787],{},"Stop British-English over-apologising."," Native French speakers apologise less frequently than British English speakers. Trying to translate every English \"sorry\" into French reads as oddly anxious. The right move is often just to continue without an apology, or to switch from a desole to a quick pardon.",[53,790,792],{"id":791},"cross-references","Cross-references",[138,794,795,803,810,817,824],{},[141,796,350,797,802],{},[798,799,801],"a",{"href":800},"\u002Ffrench","French for adult learners pillar"," covers the wider French learning approach.",[141,804,350,805,809],{},[798,806,808],{"href":807},"\u002Fresources\u002Fhow-to-say-thank-you-in-french","how to say thank you in French article"," covers the gratitude vocabulary that pairs with apologies.",[141,811,350,812,816],{},[798,813,815],{"href":814},"\u002Fresources\u002Fhow-to-say-hello-in-french","how to say hello in French article"," covers the greeting register including the bonjour rule.",[141,818,350,819,823],{},[798,820,822],{"href":821},"\u002Fresources\u002Fcommon-mistakes-french-english-speakers","common mistakes for English speakers in French article"," covers register and vocabulary gaps that frequently affect apology interactions.",[141,825,350,826,830],{},[798,827,829],{"href":828},"\u002Ffrench\u002Fgrammar","French grammar cheatsheet"," covers the imperative and pronominal structures underlying excusez-moi \u002F excuse-moi.",{"title":832,"searchDepth":833,"depth":833,"links":834},"",2,[835,836,837,838,839,840,848,854,855,856,857,858],{"id":55,"depth":833,"text":56},{"id":121,"depth":833,"text":90},{"id":184,"depth":833,"text":185},{"id":275,"depth":833,"text":112},{"id":357,"depth":833,"text":358},{"id":387,"depth":833,"text":388,"children":841},[842,844,845,846,847],{"id":392,"depth":843,"text":393},3,{"id":415,"depth":843,"text":416},{"id":433,"depth":843,"text":434},{"id":451,"depth":843,"text":452},{"id":469,"depth":843,"text":470},{"id":492,"depth":833,"text":493,"children":849},[850,851,852,853],{"id":496,"depth":843,"text":497},{"id":529,"depth":843,"text":530},{"id":551,"depth":843,"text":552},{"id":563,"depth":843,"text":564},{"id":574,"depth":833,"text":575},{"id":599,"depth":833,"text":600},{"id":681,"depth":833,"text":682},{"id":763,"depth":833,"text":764},{"id":791,"depth":833,"text":792},"Methodology",null,"2026-06-05T00:00:00+00:00","How to say sorry in French across registers and contexts. Pardon, desole, excusez-moi, the situational differences, and regional variations across France, Quebec, Belgium and Switzerland.","md",[865,868,871,874],{"q":866,"a":867},"When should I use pardon, desole or excusez-moi?","Pardon for brief minor mistakes like bumping into someone, missing what was said, or squeezing past in a crowd. Je suis desole (or just desole) for sincere regret, substantial mistakes, condolences, or refusing something with regret. Excusez-moi (formal) or excuse-moi (informal) for getting someone's attention, politely interrupting, or excusing yourself to leave. Defaulting to desole for everything is the consistent English-speaker mistake.",{"q":869,"a":870},"Is it rude to say sorry too often in French?","Not rude exactly but noticeably non-native and slightly odd. French is less reflexively apologetic than British English; the English habit of saying sorry to acknowledge minor friction, ask a question or take a moment to think does not translate proportionally into French. Native speakers do not over-apologise. The British learner reflex is to convert every English sorry into French, and the result reads as anxious.",{"q":872,"a":873},"Should I lead with bonjour or with excusez-moi when approaching a French stranger?","Bonjour first, always. The convention is bonjour, excusez-moi (or bonjour, pardon) rather than going straight to the apology. Walking up to a French stranger and leading with excusez-moi without bonjour reads as slightly rude even though the apology word is correct. The bonjour does the acknowledgement work that English speakers expect the sorry to do.",{"q":875,"a":876},"What is the difference between excusez-moi and excuse-moi?","Vous vs tu. Excusez-moi is the formal version used with strangers, in business contexts, with anyone older you have just met, and in plural contexts. Excuse-moi is the informal version reserved for friends, family, peers and children. The same vous \u002F tu distinction that runs through the rest of French politeness applies. Defaulting to excuse-moi with strangers reads as inappropriately familiar.",{},"\u002Fresources\u002Ffrench\u002Fhow-to-say-sorry-in-french",{"title":37,"description":862},"resources\u002Ffrench\u002Fhow-to-say-sorry-in-french",[882,883,884,885],"french phrases","french vocabulary","french for beginners","apology","French splits sorry across three phrases English collapses into one: pardon for brief minor mistakes, je suis desole for sincere regret, excusez-moi for getting attention or excusing yourself; defaulting to desole for everything is the consistent learner mistake and reads as oddly heavy.","tQDImlcyXxYjphD2EpvFmHanwXwK6p6ZamOqR8q-mak",{"left":4,"top":4,"width":5,"height":5,"rotate":4,"vFlip":6,"hFlip":6,"body":889},"\u003Cpath fill=\"none\" stroke=\"currentColor\" stroke-linecap=\"round\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\" stroke-width=\"2\" d=\"M10 18v-7m1.119-8.795a2 2 0 0 1 1.762 0l7.84 3.846A.5.5 0 0 1 20.5 7h-17a.5.5 0 0 1-.22-.949zM14 18v-7m4 7v-7M3 22h18M6 18v-7\"\u002F>",{"left":4,"top":4,"width":5,"height":5,"rotate":4,"vFlip":6,"hFlip":6,"body":891},"\u003Cg fill=\"none\" stroke=\"currentColor\" stroke-linecap=\"round\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\" stroke-width=\"2\">\u003Cpath d=\"M12 15V3m9 12v4a2 2 0 0 1-2 2H5a2 2 0 0 1-2-2v-4\"\u002F>\u003Cpath d=\"m7 10l5 5l5-5\"\u002F>\u003C\u002Fg>",{"left":4,"top":4,"width":5,"height":5,"rotate":4,"vFlip":6,"hFlip":6,"body":893},"\u003Cpath fill=\"none\" stroke=\"currentColor\" stroke-linecap=\"round\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\" stroke-width=\"2\" d=\"M13 21h8M15 5l4 4m2.174-2.188a1 1 0 0 0-3.986-3.987L3.842 16.174a2 2 0 0 0-.5.83l-1.321 4.352a.5.5 0 0 0 .623.622l4.353-1.32a2 2 0 0 0 .83-.497z\"\u002F>",{"left":4,"top":4,"width":5,"height":5,"rotate":4,"vFlip":6,"hFlip":6,"body":895},"\u003Cg fill=\"none\" stroke=\"currentColor\" stroke-linecap=\"round\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\" stroke-width=\"2\">\u003Crect width=\"18\" height=\"18\" x=\"3\" y=\"3\" rx=\"2\" ry=\"2\"\u002F>\u003Ccircle cx=\"9\" cy=\"9\" r=\"2\"\u002F>\u003Cpath d=\"m21 15l-3.086-3.086a2 2 0 0 0-2.828 0L6 21\"\u002F>\u003C\u002Fg>",{"left":4,"top":4,"width":5,"height":5,"rotate":4,"vFlip":6,"hFlip":6,"body":897},"\u003Cg fill=\"none\" stroke=\"currentColor\" stroke-linecap=\"round\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\" stroke-width=\"2\">\u003Cpath d=\"M6 22a2 2 0 0 1-2-2V4a2 2 0 0 1 2-2h8a2.4 2.4 0 0 1 1.704.706l3.588 3.588A2.4 2.4 0 0 1 20 8v12a2 2 0 0 1-2 2z\"\u002F>\u003Cpath d=\"M14 2v5a1 1 0 0 0 1 1h5M10 9H8m8 4H8m8 4H8\"\u002F>\u003C\u002Fg>",1781519465711]