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Italian grammar

CEFR A1

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Tu vs Lei in Italian: When to Use the Formal You

By Michael McGettrickUpdated 11 October 2026

Italian has two words for you to one person: for friends and for strangers. The choice is social, not grammatical, but it changes the verb: takes the same form as she. When in doubt, use .

Quick check

Three quick questions on what you have just read. The full practice is further down.

Pick the right one

0/3

Which you does the situation call for?

  1. Talking to your younger brother.

  2. Asking a police officer for directions.

  3. Chatting to a new friend your own age at a party.

The whole system on one screen

tu (friendly)Lei (polite)What do the colours mean?
tuLei
Use it withfriends, family, childrenstrangers, officials, elders
You are
How are you? ? ?
Your name? ? ?
Do you like it? ? ?
your
Sorry

For more than one person, use with everyone: ? - How are you all?

Who gets tu, who gets Lei

Where people usually sit
tuLei
  1. family, childrenalways tu
  2. friends, classmatestu
  3. colleagues your agetu, quickly
  4. shop staff, waitersLei
  5. doctors, teachers, officialsLei
  6. older strangersLei
WithUseExample
your brother ? - Are you coming too?
a friend's friend ? - What's your name?
a shop assistant, ? - Excuse me, how much is it?
a doctor , ? - How are you, doctor?
an older neighbour, ? - Good morning, how are you?

Among young people, and increasingly at work, arrives fast. With an older stranger or in a shop, start with . Being too polite costs nothing; the reverse can .

Lei takes the she form

means you, but the verb behaves as if you were talking about a third person. Compare:

Personessereavereparlare
(you)
(she)
  • . - You' very kind. (or: she is very kind)
  • ? - Have you got time? (polite)
  • ? - Do you speak English? (polite)

The overlap with she is real; context sorts it out, and you can add when it does not. Historically addressed someone through a courtesy title, which is feminine in Italian, and the third-person verb outlived the title.

The capital L

When it means you, is often written with a capital, to tell it apart from , she. Many people now write it small in everyday messages; formal letters often keep the capital, also on , and .

Ti or Le, tuo or Suo

The other you-words change with the register too:

Meaningtu formLei form
to you ? ?
you (object) . .
your
  • ? - Do you like Italy? (polite)
  • . - Thank you. (polite, literally: I thank you)

Dare del tu: switching

Italians call the choice and , to give someone or . The older or more senior person usually offers the switch:

  • ? - Shall we use ?
  • . - Feel free to call me .

Once offered, switch at once: carrying on with after that can sound cold.

Voi, and the old Loro

For a group, modern Italian uses whatever the register:

  • ? - How are you all?
  • ? - Would you all like a coffee?

A formal plural exists, with third-person plural verbs, but it is now confined to very ceremonious service and some official letters. In parts of the south, is still used politely to one person, an older system. Recognise it; use .

Mistakes English speakers make

WrongRightWhy
takes the she form
to a doctorstrangers get
? to a boss ?to you is with
to a strangeryour is with
to a friendthe apology follows the you
to a group is everyday, formal or not

What to do next

, and are on the Pearson Edexcel GCSE Italian specification at Foundation and Higher tier.

  1. Learn ? and ? as a pair.
  2. For each person you speak to this week, decide: or ?
  3. Back to subject pronouns or greetings.

Practise: test yourself

Sort into groups

0/8

Friendly or polite? Sort each phrase by the you it uses.

Tap a word, then the group it belongs in.

Complete the story

0/5

Choose the friendly or the polite form for each gap.

Marco goes shopping

Marco entra in un negozio. "Buongiorno, signora. Come ?" "Bene, grazie. E ?" Poi arriva Luca, un amico. "Ciao, Luca! Come ?" "Bene! piace questo negozio?" Alla fine Marco dice alla signora: " ringrazio, arrivederci!"

Gap 1 of 5

Pick the right one

0/5

Which you does the situation call for?

  1. Talking to your younger brother.

  2. Asking a police officer for directions.

  3. Chatting to a new friend your own age at a party.

  4. Speaking to your doctor for the first time.

  5. Asking two friends if they want a coffee.

Spot the mistake

0/4

Tap the mistake.

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Practice worksheets and infographics

Practice worksheets with answer keys built in, plus infographic and listicle formats. Open any one to view, print or save.

Infographics

  1. Key points infographic
  2. The whole system on one screen
  3. Who gets tu, who gets Lei
  4. Lei takes the she form
  5. Ti or Le, tuo or Suo
  6. Mistakes English speakers make

Other formats

  1. Listicle

Frequently asked questions

When should I use instead of ?
With strangers, older people you do not know, shop and restaurant staff, officials, doctors and teachers. Use with friends, family, children and, in most casual settings, people your own age. When unsure, start with : , ?, excuse me, are you from here? Nobody minds being addressed politely.
Why does use the same verb as she?
Because it began as a way of addressing someone indirectly, through a courtesy title such as Your Lordship, which is feminine in Italian ( Signoria). The verb followed the title in the third person, and stayed there when the title dropped away. So means you are very kind, and the same words can also mean she is very kind.
How do you say 'do you like it?' formally in Italian?
? to someone you call , and ? to a friend. The pronouns change with the register too: becomes for to you and for you as an object ( , thank you), and becomes for your ( , your name).
What do Italians say to switch from to ?
?, can we use ?, or simply , feel free to call me . Italians call the choice and , to give someone or . The older or more senior person usually offers the switch.
Is formal in Italian?
is the everyday you for more than one person, formal or not: ?, how are you all? There is a formal plural , with third-person plural verbs, but outside very ceremonious service and some official letters it has largely gone. In parts of the south is still used politely to one person; recognise it, but use .